last night my friend told me in confidence that he has bulimia he hasnt been to the doctors or told his parents about it but hes got all the symptoms of bulimia. and i dont know where to go from here, i know i sould tell him to tell his parents but they have been though alot this year with cancer and everything and should i try and make him go to the doctors about it? im just really stuck on what to do and what he would want me to do because hes been really good at hiding this as i had no idea and no1 has had any suspisions any help and advice would be greatly aprieiated :)

M_H

Thank you for getting in touch with the message board, you have made the right first step... I am sorry to hear that your friend is having troubles with Bulimiia and also other Family problems too.

If your friend is over the age of 16, then there would be no need to tell his parents at the moment. The best course of ation ever is to try and get him to go to the Doctors who will be able to check out his health and also refer him to some help to support him through his problems.

As I am sure you are aware, Eating Disorders are an all consuming disease which course people to become so secretive.

Your friends has made a big step in opening up to you and you need to respect that.

I suffered from Anorexia myself and so did my Girlfriend. We bth agree tht The hardest part of recovery is the first step of telling people and the honesty needed to start recovering properly.

At the end of the day your friend has to make the decision on where to go from here, and will need a lot of support in doing this.

Being a friend of someone who suffers can be diffuctult and a lot of organsiations notice this.

Feel free to use the message board as much as you wish, B-eat (the national ED charity) also offer a message board but also a helpline number to call. They will talk to both sufferers and people affected by EDs so feel free to call them if things are getting too much.

I would maybe look into your local NHS provisions for EDs too... Maybe if you can give you friend some reassurance as to what will happen once he goes to the doctors he will feel more comfortable going.

I am sure it goes without saying that accompanying him to the doctors will be a massive help.

Hope some of this helps and I hope you and your friend stay well.

We are always here if you need.

Neil

I have to concur - the fact is, as stark as it may sound, you're friend is extremely unlikely to improve without help. Ideally he'll need a support network which includes family, friends and his GP; but as a minimum he really ought to see his GP, and if you would offer to go with him that may help (at 28 years old I found it really hard to see my GP, and I had to get my mum come with me!)

I hope for a good outcome for your friend, and well done for being there for him.

Aaron

I remember when I was learning shiatsu the instructor told us that sometimes the most important thing is to be present there for them.

In my experience, not being negatively judgmental about it definately helps and having an understanding of them as a person helps. Support is the most important thing about being a friend.

Visiting this site, of course, is a good place for resources and information as well.